The Desire to Recover
Jan 10, 2025
Understanding the Desire to Get Better
Many people assume that wanting to get rid of symptoms automatically means they want to recover. However, this assumption can be misleading and potentially dangerous. When the primary focus is on alleviating symptoms, individuals often find themselves caught in cycles of temporary relief and subsequent relapses.
"You'll hear them say things like, 'I was doing really well and then I fell back in,'" explains Matt Cottey, licensed clinical social worker and founder of Restored Minds.
The Trap of Symptom Management
Symptom management often leads to a life dictated by the presence or absence of symptoms. People evaluate their progress based on whether they are experiencing intrusive thoughts or anxiety. This symptom-centric approach can lead to a perpetual cycle of ups and downs, where genuine recovery is never fully realized.
"In their whole life becomes dictated about the symptoms, their assessment on how they're doing, their judgment on how they're feeling. It's all about symptoms, symptom management," Matt elaborates.
The Core Issue: The Loop
To understand the difference between alleviating symptoms and true recovery, it's essential to grasp the concept of the "loop." The symptoms are merely a part of this loop, which involves one’s judgments, reactions, and perceptions. True recovery requires confronting the underlying issues within this loop, not just managing the symptoms.
The Misconception: Not Wanting to Be Poor vs. Wanting to Be Rich
Matt uses an excellent analogy to explain this misconception: "Not wanting to be poor and wanting to be wealthy are very different paths." Similarly, not wanting symptoms and wanting to recover are distinct journeys. The former often leads to short-term fixes, while the latter involves addressing the root causes for long-term healing.
The Importance of Confronting Symptoms
Working towards recovery involves confronting symptoms head-on rather than running from them. Avoidance behaviors, also known as compulsions, can prevent recovery and keep individuals stuck in their struggles.
"Generally speaking, not wanting symptoms, being adverse to symptoms causes you to go do compulsions that prevent you from recovering," Matt notes.
The Role of Inner Work
For true recovery, individuals must tackle deeper issues such as adverse relationships with their emotions or compulsions to avoid uncomfortable feelings. This inner work includes changing identity structures, beliefs, and perceptions of emotions. Matt emphasizes the need to look at the "primary issue here," much like fixing a broken water pipe causing mud in your yard instead of merely cleaning the mud.
Final Thoughts
Understanding the difference between the desire to recover and the desire to alleviate symptoms helps shine a light on your true intentions. Are you merely looking to get rid of symptoms, or do you genuinely want to recover to reclaim your life fully?
