Matt's Audio Letter of the Week

Hey everyone, and welcome to this edition of the Feel Better Letter, or the FBL.

This is Matt.

Today I want to talk about the idea of context—specifically, the difference between seeing something as happening to you versus happening for you.

Whenever we get stuck in life, it’s usually not because of the experience itself, but because of the context in which we’re interpreting that experience.

A lot of us see things as happening to us, and then we hold on to a certain state.

For example, in TBC we do weekly releases, and one of the recent ones was on forgiveness. I talked about how being able to shift context often allows new results to emerge very quickly.

Let’s say you went on a date, and the person stood you up. You feel depressed, bad about yourself, and then angry. Days go by, and you’re still upset about being disrespected. Then suddenly the person calls and explains: “I’m so sorry I didn’t make our date. I was in a car accident and unconscious in the hospital until now.”

That single piece of information completely shifts the context. You go from “this person stood me up and disrespected me” to “oh, that makes sense,” and your entire emotional state changes instantly.

Now, if you’re experiencing OCD or anxiety, it’s common to sit there feeling sorry for yourself—frustrated, overwhelmed, stuck. When you see your experience as something happening to you, you’re caught in the “drama triangle.” You become the victim, the situation becomes the villain, and you start looking for a rescuer.

This is why people often ask things like: “Will you help me? Will this program work for me? Is this guaranteed?” When I hear that, I know the mindset is rooted in victimhood—believing that something external has to save them. And in that context, they’ll always blame the external when things don’t work. That context keeps you stuck.

Now, I know this may ruffle some feathers, but if we’re serious about transformation, we have to look honestly at the context that’s keeping us stuck.

Instead of seeing the experience as happening to you, what if you considered it as happening for you? If it’s happening for you, then you take ownership. It’s your responsibility to help yourself.

That doesn’t mean you do it alone—you’ll still seek guidance, learning, community, and accountability. But the context is different. You’re not waiting for someone or something to save you. You’re using resources to save yourself.

The reason OCD, anxiety, panic attacks, or chronic pain keep looping is because you’re maintaining the same context and relationship with emotion. You run from emotion, suppress it, escape it, ruminate, or use compulsions to avoid it. And by repeating that cycle, you recreate the same results over and over.

It’s not that your situation is permanently “chronic”—it’s that repeating the same behaviors naturally creates the same outcomes. Sometimes life has to get disruptive enough for us to wake up and finally change.

So instead of seeing OCD or anxiety as something happening to you, what if you saw it as happening for you—to wake you up, to help you become more conscious, to teach you healthier ways of experiencing and processing your emotions? Maybe even to spark long-term growth—emotional, spiritual, and personal.

You don’t have to adopt that perspective, but as long as you cling to “this is happening to me,” you’ll keep waiting for someone or something external to save you. And because you keep engaging in the same cycles, nothing external can save you.

The only real path forward is to learn, receive guidance, refine your approach, and take responsibility for implementing change yourself. Even the best strategies or information in the world won’t help if you don’t apply them. It’s just like with health: the best diet plan won’t change anything if you don’t actually follow it.

Recontextualizing your experience—or at least reflecting honestly on the context you’re operating from—can make all the difference. Because if the context itself is destructive, it will keep producing destructive results.

So with that said, I hope this was helpful.

Wishing you all a great weekend, and I look forward to talking to you soon.

-Matt