Matt's Audio Letter of the Week

Hey everyone, and welcome to this week’s edition of the Feel Better Letter (the FBL).

This is Matt, and today I want to talk about knowing your why.

Now, one of the things we have to understand—and this idea was brought to me by Coach Kai, one of the coaches on the Restored Minds team—is that transformation requires us to become a different version of ourselves.

Who you’ve been being has created and sustained what you’re currently experiencing.

We already know this in other areas of life. We are a product of our habits, which are shaped by our beliefs, our thoughts, and our feelings. Those habits then produce a certain reality.

So when we want to change our reality, we don’t start by trying to change the external. We begin by changing the beliefs, thoughts, feelings, and identities—the ways we are operating—which ultimately lead to new behaviors and a new reality.

For example, if someone is trying to make a huge physical transformation, say losing weight, they can’t keep doing what they’ve been doing and expect a different result. They can’t eat the same way, exercise (or avoid exercise) in the same way, and expect that things will change. That’s not how transformation works.

We often try shortcuts and quick fixes: cutting water weight, losing pounds in a sauna, and so on. But all of that is short-term masking. None of it creates sustainable change.

Real transformation works from the inside out. It requires you to get real about who you’ve been being—the emotions that are running you (consciously or unconsciously), the thought patterns driving your behaviors, and the actions that are producing your reality.

When it comes to breaking out of OCD and anxiety loops, panic attacks, or even psychophysiological issues like chronic pain, the same principle applies. The way we’ve been interacting with our emotions and thoughts—and the behaviors we’ve engaged in—have produced the reality we are currently experiencing.

Once you take ownership of that, and stop seeing it as something “happening to you,” you can embark on the journey of transformation. And transformation isn’t about fixing or masking issues so you can keep living the same way. It’s about literally becoming a different version of yourself.

And that’s hard. That’s challenging.

A lot of people think transformation should just happen by reading a sentence, watching a video, or posting in a forum. But that doesn’t create transformation.

That’s why I always say: transformation doesn’t happen by consuming information. Information is just the catalyst. Transformation happens through embodiment.

In Taking Back Control (TBC), this is why we have six live groups each week, along with accountability, support, guidance, and immersion. Because we understand what it really takes to create transformation.

One of the most important things you need in order to transform is your why. Why do you want the end result of this transformation?

Because transformation requires discomfort. You have to let go of behaviors that make you feel good today in exchange for a better life tomorrow.

We already know this in other areas of life—mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical health all follow the same principle.

So knowing your why means looking at your life and asking:

• Is my life where I want it to be?

• Am I being the person I truly want to be each day?

• Am I doing the work I want to be doing?

• What about my relationships—family, friends, romantic? If they’re not where I want them to be, why? Is it because compulsions take up all my time and energy?

• If I do have relationships, am I fulfilling my role as best as I can—as a husband, wife, parent, son, daughter, friend, or whatever role applies?

• What about finances, creative expression, or leisure? Do I have things in my life that I do simply because I enjoy them?

Your why is deeply personal. It’s about embracing the gift of life itself. You only have a limited time here—are you living it the way you want to live it? And if not, are you taking responsibility to begin?

If you’re trying to change only because you dislike your symptoms, that’s not a big enough why. A hard situation alone isn’t enough to drive transformation.

If pain were the true catalyst for change, you would have already changed. Think about how long you’ve been struggling—if pain itself was enough, it wouldn’t still be an issue.

The truth is, most of us are afraid to take the steps of transformation. That’s why the real catalyst for change is knowing your why—why you want the end result, what you’ll do with it, who you’ll be when the loop dissolves, and what you’ll bring into your life and the world.

That’s what you need to identify.

Step one is getting clear on your why.
Step two is using it as the springboard for change.

Hold onto it in your mind. Remember why you’re doing this. Because when it gets hard—and it will—you’ll need to draw strength from your why to keep going.

With that, I wish you all a great week. If you know someone who would find this message helpful, please share it with them.

And if you’re interested in joining us in TBC and walking with us step by step on this journey of transformation, please fill out an application. We’d love to support you.

-Matt