Matt's Audio Letter of the Week

Hello, and welcome to this edition of the Feel Better Letter, or the FBL.

My name is Matt, and thank you for being here today. Today, I want to talk about the paradox of how the fear of dying prevents us from really living.

One of the things that needs to happen in order to recover is that the fear of not living needs to become greater than the fear of dying.

Let’s start with the understanding that all fear is really rooted in the fear of death. If you take any fear and trace it down to its core, death is usually what's driving it.

And when you understand that one of your greatest fears is the fear of death, you begin to see the irony: fearing death so much that you let it prevent you from actually living.

The deeper irony is that when you start truly living, you begin to let go of the fear of dying—because you understand that death is an inevitable part of life.

And if dying is inevitable, then the only rational response is to maximize the experience of life—to optimize it, to fully embrace and immerse yourself in it.

Now, we’re not talking about the afterlife or anything theological here. We’re talking about the emotional experience of fear.

Many people who are stuck in fear are, ultimately, stuck in the fear of dying.

And the irony is that people assume the fear of dying helps them live longer. But that assumption fails to consider what life really means. Life isn’t just about time—it’s also about the quality of that time.

Would you rather be technically alive—lying in a bed, fed all your nutrients through a tube, and kept alive on a respirator for 100 years—or would you rather have 50 years of freely engaging in the life you want?

You see, life is not just about how long you live. It’s also about how you live.

One of the most interesting things about fear is that many people believe fear is helping them survive. They think it’s serving their purpose of staying alive.

But when you realize that there's a huge difference between surviving and thriving, you start to question whether it makes sense to live in fear or give your energy to it at all.

Because what fear actually creates is suffering.

And even if fear hypothetically helps you prolong your time on earth—if that time is full of suffering, are you really living the way you want?

You begin to see that living in fear doesn’t keep you alive. You can do the same healthy behaviors—eating well, exercising, taking care of yourself—not because you're afraid of dying, but because you love and care for your body.

You don’t have to fear death in order to eat food. You can eat to nourish and honor your body.
You don’t have to fear death in order to exercise or take care of yourself.

And that’s when you realize: fear, though we often perceive it as constructive and protective, is actually quite destructive.

Biologically, living in fear puts your body in a stressed-out state. It compromises your immune system and weakens your internal organs. Cortisol spikes. Your health suffers.

And energetically, it affects your relationships. It impacts your work. You don’t enjoy things the same way when you're living in fear.

This is why the grand paradox of fearing death is not a path to living. In fact, fearing death actually prevents you from truly living.

I can speak to this from experience. Fear puts you in survival mode—and surviving is very different from thriving and fully living.

But when you embrace the moment—when you become present and immersed in life—you begin to transcend the fear of death. You start to understand that by fully living, you’re maximizing life. So when death eventually comes, there’s less to fear. You know you lived fully.

That’s when you can begin to let go of fear. You can choose to transcend it. You can choose not to operate from it.

That’s my message for today.

If it connects with you, and you’re ready for this kind of shift, and you're not a member of TBC yet, I encourage you to check it out or complete an application.

Because this is what we do.

On the other side of fear is true liberation.

Fear is a prison—an invisible one. It creates suffering and destruction, all while giving you the illusion that it’s helping you.

But when you understand the paradox—that life is not just about surviving but about thriving—you start to see that to really live, you have to shift into a new emotional state, a new energetic state, a new paradigm.

I hope this was helpful and that it serves you well.

If you know someone who would benefit from it, please share it with them.

And with that, I’ll see you next week.